Blue Christmas Services

photo courtesy of alice popkorn flickr

Our culture tends to pressure people to use the holidays as a time of merriment and celebration. But, for many, the holidays can be a source of pain, stress, and grief. Therefore, many communities are including “Blue Christmas” services into the holiday season activities. These services are usually held on the night of the winter solstice, as it is the the longest night of the year. This year’s solstice falls on December 21st.

Far from depressing, Blue Christmas services give people an outlet for sadness and grief, while gently fostering hope for the future. Many people who have attended Blue Christmas services say the service helps ease their pain because they receive support and realize they are not alone.

My friend Lisa Kendall recently shared a blog post that Pastor Chris Owens wrote about the Blue Christmas service at his church. Pastor Owens commented, “It’s a quiet, reflective time of prayer, sharing, and singing meaningful songs of faith that are not loud and rapturous but tender and soothing… I could see the weight of unacknowledged grief coming off of our shoulders and peoples’ tears flowing steadily and unhindered. You could sense the release and freedom in that time of worship.”

Similarly, pastor, DeBorah Barnwell, started Blue Christmas services at her church in Virginia Beach several years ago. Pastor Barnwell said the service is not only for people grieving the loss of a loved one, but also for people who are struggling with illness, mourning a job loss, dealing with divorce, or just feeling down. The service also welcomes families separated by military deployment.

Four candles are often lit in these ceremonies: 1) One candle is lit for those who have passed, giving thanks to the memory that connects them to us this season; 2) One candle is lit to redeem the pain of the loss; 3) One candle is lit to honor ourselves; and, 4) One candle is lit for the gift of faith and hope symbolized in the Christmas story.

I am grateful more communities are offering these Blue Christmas ceremonies. Such services give us a way to honor our loved ones who have passed and feel more connected. In my opinion, ceremonies that can help us keep perspective and allow some quiet reflection time are so needed at this time of year. The richness and depth of the holiday season can get missed if we’re too busy trying to keep up with parties and gift exchanges.

Take care of yourself this season. Celebrate it in a way that makes sense and is special to you.