Healing Trauma by Transforming Meanings

The power of a stare...

Note: This post discusses a sexual trauma. Please read at your discretion.

One thing that causes a traumatic memory to haunt a person is a distorted meaning he/she attached to the disturbing event. Below is an example of a case in which we cleared the trauma by transforming a meaning the client had attached to the event.

*”Naomi” was a 39 year old divorced woman. She had started dating again, but was suddenly being troubled by flashbacks of a molestation she experienced as a child. Naomi explained that when she was 11 years old, she was spending the night at a friend’s house. She and her friend were watching a movie, and her friend’s father brought them some apple juice and snacks. Naomi remembered feeling “kind of funny” within half an hour of drinking her apple juice, and promptly fell asleep on the couch.

Sometime in the middle of the night, Naomi briefly awoke only to stare into the eyes of her friend’s father lying on top of her. At that time she wasn’t sure if she was dreaming or not. But, the next morning she was pretty sure something had happened because her clothes and legs were wet and sticky. She also had a terrible headache and suspected her apple juice had been drugged.

Initially, it appeared she was most haunted by the distorted belief that she should have done something to keep this from happening. So our first target was replacing this belief and clearing self-blame.

At our next appointment, Naomi said she was feeling less shame, but was still having anxiety and brief flashbacks. I noticed what she consistently referenced was her feelings of helplessness and the fear something more happened that she couldn’t recall. Naomi didn’t think intercourse occurred because she had no pain upon awakening, and was confirmed a virgin via medical exam in her late teens.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that perhaps when Naomi briefly woke up and stared into the eyes of the perpetrator, she spooked him. I suggested her stare may have in effect “stopped” him,  & kept anything worse from happening that night.

Naomi’s face lit up as she exclaimed, “Yes, that’s possible! I was known as a tough girl in my neighborhood who used to beat up all the boys. So, this guy probably thought if I was waking up, then I’d start fighting and knock his teeth out!”

At our next session, she said, “I’ve been feeling really good!” She hadn’t had any flashbacks or nightmares at all, and reported that her relationship with her boyfriend had improved. What Naomi needed to believe was that she had responded effectively to the situation and that nothing more had happened.

It amazes me how quickly the negative effects of a trauma get cleared when you can pinpoint and transform distorted meanings. Please share your transformational stories and ideas through the comments box. I’d love to share them.

** The name and identifying details in this story have been changed to protect privacy.

Courtney Armstrong is a Licensed Professional Counselor as well as a Master Practitioner and Associate Trainer in Rapid Resolution Therapy. She has a private counseling practice in Chattanooga, TN where she specializes in treating trauma, anxiety, and grief. To contact Courtney, visit www.courtneyarmstronglpc.com.